Most of you who know a little bit of me knows I am not an introvert person, I like to show off a bit, cracking some jokes, be part of the scene. I think this is all to do by getting the necessary confidence to be there and do it. That is, if you are in the same frame of mind, right place and right time.
But this time seems a bit different. Maybe it's the unknown that is daunting me. Let's recap my situation; I was in London, full time job, economically secure and also after being living there for a long time, my confidence was pretty good, knowing where to go, where to be. My goals were pretty focus and I have a plan, More or less like a train, a pre-established route toward a known destination. The journey’s planned out and the book in your hands, or on your screen, is your ticket. You just have to get on. The real situation now is that I need to make some real big decisions and that is leaving me a bit insecure about how to live my life. I have the opportunity to live in a new place, retire early and just enjoy the things I like most... But why I am feeling funny about it, is this what most people like in life? I think it has to do with all these cultural mandates I had in my brain about being a good student, going to university, work hard until the age of 75, then retire and live the rest of what is left of our lives to start "living". But no one can tell us what matters to us. We have to beat our own paths, because the path that leads you to deep fulfillment might be a dead end for me. Maybe I will just need to chill out and not overthink too much. Find new things for me to discover and set new worthy goals... Life is short and, as far as we know, we only get one shot at it. There isn’t time to pursue dead ends. That’s why we owe it to ourselves to get these big goals right. But how to begin is a big question... guess I will figure it out by myself soon. |
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